Children are naturally very magical beings. Try to tell a kid: “We will do some magic now”...and most of them will be immediately prepared to do it :-) So it is easy and natural to communicate with a child through a story, an image, some supernatural being or a game. For kids are all of them as real as our business meetings, shopping activities, vacations and daily programs.
The healing power of dreams and images is well known. But my opinion is, that they have much more stronger effect on a kid than on some adult. Kids are naturally strong believers. They excitement about stories and fairy creatures are strong and pure. Maybe this helps the invisible healing powers to penetrate into the being of a child more easily than to the adult, who is most of the time logical and reasonable being.
Kids also know, what to do with their dreams and stories. My day begins with the dream of my daughter. It is the first think she tells me when she wakes up. Once my 8 years old daughter told me:” You know mum, sometimes I have a dream and I wake up in the middle of it. It is not nice. I feel that all stories have to have some end. So, I close my eyes and continue in my dream.”
...and I asked: ”OK, and how do you continue? You put your own end or it comes something else?” She nodded and explained:” I like to put my own actions, for example, I had a dream about a rabbit running through the field. I was chasing him. Then I woke up, but I closed my eyes and continue... We are running into the forest. But suddenly, a precipice appeared. ...this was something unexpected, a surprise...”
Kids are also amazing for their ability to get excited about their games and magic. What is for me fascinating, they don't pay much attention to the result, but to the process. They, for example, spend an hour with manufacturing of some magic stuff for certain purpose. When the stuff is ready, they do their magic and let it be. Immediately forget everything, don't care if the result will come or not. They don't need to see the result in order to believe. Dream and magic is satisfying enough. And I believe, that that's why they have always so much energy!
Foto © Andrew Rich http://www.istockphoto.com I pmalenky
There are many and many ways how to use dreams, visions, images and magic to support a child, to encourage him/her, to get rid of something frightening or unpleasant. I will give now some examples from my life, so that you can use them for your purpose:
When my daughter was five, we had a car accident. Nobody was hurt, but car was so damaged that we had to buy new one. My daughter was surprisingly brave. She cried only a minute or so and then was calm. But after week or two, she started to have nightmares. I think, the accident opened something inside and it came not when she was awake, but during sleep. Something needed to manifest...
When she had a nightmare, she didn't recognize us, she was screaming and kicking her legs. We try to woke her up, but it was even worse. We tried to speak to her, asked her what's happening, but she didn't know and was confused. We were frustrated, scared, didn't know what to do. She didn't remember those dreams, no images, just feelings of terror. This was happening several weeks, not every night, but we weren't certain, if the night would be ok or not.
Once I spoke about that with my friend, who practiced magic. He asked me:” Why you don't try to do some ritual with her to get rid of that problem?” So, we tried and succeed!
Foto © laflor http://www.istockphoto.com I pmalenky
I feel that it is important not only to do something, following some instructions, but to get involved into the process and take it seriously. To believe. To adapt the ritual to the needs of a child and to the belief and values of adult, who performs the ritual with a child.
We did it as follows:
1. I asked my daughter to draw a picture, where will be this problem. She didn't write that time, didn't remember any image from dream and couldn't name her problem. So, I asked her to feel that dream again and to draw just emotions.
2. Then, we did a magical circle, lit candles so that nothing bad can penetrate into the circle and we called angels or any other good guardians and helpful beings to come and help.
3. Then, we asked those good helpers for their assistance. I asked my daughter to speak and tell them what she needs and wants. (I felt that this is about her and she has to be involved in the process actively, not just sitting and watching what's going on). The picture of my daughter was in the circle with us. She showed it to the helpers and asked them to get rid of this bad thing. The drawing was just black chaos on white paper, it looked really bad and scary.
4. When we felt that helpers agreed to help us with our issue, we prayed and ended the ritual: we said goodbye to the helpers and we blow out the candles.
5. Then we went directly to the fireplace. The fire was already there, big and strong. I asked my daughter to throw the paper into the fire. I told her, that this bad thing will burn there and cannot come back from fire. It cannot do any harm now. (If you don't have fireplace, burn it in some old fireproof pot and throw the ashes into the toilet.)
Once my daughter woke me up and told me that she had wet pyjamas. She was frustrated and scared, because she was already at school and such a thing haven't happened for 4 years! I thought that this was maybe because she got some cold or something like that.
The result was that my daughter felt uncertain and asked me in the next evening, laying in her bed, what if this happen again? What then? I was not certain what to say, what to expect. I wanted to support her, so that she can feel confident again....because such non- confidence can cause that it would happen again...
And then, I got an idea…
Now, please, lay down comfortably, we are going to solve this problem in very easy way. Imagine now strongly, that it is morning everything is all right, you are dry and you are happy. You had a good deep sleep...... Do you have this image? .... My daughter:”Yes”... Ok. Now, take this image with you. We are going to find somebody. Imagine that you are in front of a big building. Go inside. There are lots of stairs, corridors and doors there. This is your brain and behind every door is an office with somebody responsible for different part of your body. Please find the door we need- the door of the office which controls your bladder during sleep. ...Have you found it? .... My daughter:”Yes”... Ok, knock and go inside. Give the image to the person who is inside and ask him/her to take care of this issue. ...Did you do this? .... My daughter:”Yes”...Open now your eyes and tell me your feelings and experience.
My daughter told me that there was a door from flowers, very nice, behind the door was nice garden and there was a fairy. My daughter liked it all and her confidence was back.
The problem was solved, in the morning she was dry and happy as we said in the evening.
The “visit” of that brain building was so successful, that we have started to use it also for other problems. For example hiccup of my daughter (she visited building and gave the message to stop hiccup to a nice Mr. Earwig) or pain in the tummy.
As we know, the unconsciousness work through images, visions, feelings. We cannot connect with it in a “logical” way, through words and mind. So, I used image, which corresponds also reality- the brain is like a building with many “rooms”, what means, that every place in a brain has its unique and special function. If you are confident that child finds the right place, s/he will find it. If you have doubts how could be this possible, because even scientists don't know everything...then it won't work.
My kids love fairy-tales. Once I had an idea:”Why should I always just to tell them some stories? It would be wonderful, if we can create our story together!” And we tried it. And my kids love it!
We have tried many journeys into the “magic forest” where magical creatures live. We tried to travel from one place to another through gates or portals, we transformed ourselves into animals! We learn how to fly... You maybe ask, if it is not dangerous to “pretend” that not real things are real. I don't think so. Kids need to be trained to live in this world, to study, to learn new skills, train to take care of themselves. But at the same time, they need to stay in contact with their soul, they need a place where to go for energy, healing and comfort! They can truly live in both worlds- in the material world and also in their so called “imaginary” world.
Once we made a journey to the “Secret valley of thousands flowers”. There was an old wiseman, a healer. My daughter was that time sick, she had sore throat. So, we asked wiseman to give her medicine for her throat. When we ended this “journey”, my daughter told me: “You know mum, the medicine from wiseman tasted like honey with garlic”. I was very surprised. And as a result of this experience, I gave her garlic with honey... So, what is “real”? Real is what we decide to be real for us.
Problem with ears
My little daughter (3) was sick. She was nervous and was crying. It was Saturday evening, “the best time” for disease, everything was closed. She told me, that she feels pain inside of her ear. I knew how sever can such a pain be. She was lying on me, seeking for help and comfort. I decided to help her “my way”.
I:”Sweetheart, do you know that there are small angels, which can help you to heal your ear?”
I:”Yes. And now, we will call one beautiful blue angel to come and help. Do you want to see him?”
My daughter (she looked at me, with interest):”Yes”
I:”You cannot see him with your normal eyes, but you can see him inside. Just close your eyes, lay down on me.” ...Now I was speaking to the angel:”Please come, good blue angel: Svetlanka is sick. She needs your help. She needs to heal her ear.”
I:”I can see him coming. He looks like a beautiful blue light. Now he went into your ear. He is very small, you know...Do you see him? Do you feel him inside?” (I started to visualize strongly a blue light inside of the ear of my daughter)
My daughter:”Yes, I can see him.”
I:”That's good. It means that he is now there and is healing your ear now.”
(After some time)
I:”How do you feel now? Is it better?”
My daughter:”Yes, I have no pain anymore...”
Foto © slavka stresnakova
Many parents ask what is the best way to raise a child. There is no universal rule, what to do. I try to “measure” my actions in a way, that my actions should increase the power, self-confidence and autonomy of my kids. I know, that I don't do everything perfect, I make lots of mistakes every day. But I don't care anymore! I believe, that what is important is my long-term intention. Relationship with kids is not about to be always perfect and don't make any mistakes!
There is one poem about kids, which resonates within me and influences my relationship with my kids:
Kahlil Gibran: On Children
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